I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
