Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
The uberlube is also flammable
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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