Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
