awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
