it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
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