Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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