Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
