Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
