Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
