lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
barbara walters just said penis...
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
