Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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