I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
