false alarm. still invincible.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
