so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
