hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
