Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I can't trust your balls anymore.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
