She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
