How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
