i was born a porn star she said
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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