i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
