I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
