I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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