Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
