Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Life is so much better after having sex.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
