wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
