Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Yeah, i think she was German or something.

(1-405): View more from Oklahoma

No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.

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(607): View more from New York

Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I sold my books for weed money!

(302): View more from Delaware

Finals don't start for a week...

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.

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(214): View more from Texas

Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.

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(773): View more from Illinois

I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.

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(845): View more from New York

I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding

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