Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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