After last night, I could never be a politician.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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