Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
you had me at cake vodka
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
