Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
