Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
