I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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