No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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