it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
