Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
