I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
