what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
