it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize