problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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