I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
