You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Randomize