Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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