I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
