If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
