When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
