The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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