Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Randomize
