I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
