We won't sleep together?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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