I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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