you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize