He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
