I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
