no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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