have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize