I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize