i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
