So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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