she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Can you bring me the toilet please
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
