Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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