Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
